my aunt bev

BEVERLY VAN PATTEN TURNER (July 21, 1936 - November 7, 2009)

BEVERLY VAN PATTEN TURNER, 73 years old of Antioch, IL passed away Saturday November 7, 2009 at the Hillcrest Nursing Home, Round Lake Beach, IL after an extended illness. She was born July 21, 1936 in Antioch the daughter of the late Laurel and Hazel (Buchert) VanPatten and has been a life long resident and a life member of St. Ignatius Episcopal Church. Before her retirement she had worked at the State Bank of Antioch as a teller. She also had worked at the Globe department store, Gibbs and Jensens, Marianne’s, Quaker Industries and Reeves Drug Store. She loved to needle point, making things for her nieces and nephews, shopping and new clothing. Survivors include her brother Roger (Carolyn) VanPatten of Antioch, her sister Bonnie (Tom) Borla of Crossville, TN, her sister-in-law Peggy VanPatten of Mesa, Arizona, 9 nieces and nephews and 15 great nieces and nephews. In addition to her parents she was preceded in death by a brother Gerald Van Patten. Funeral Services with Mass of Resurrection will be held at 10:30 AM Saturday November 14, 2009 at St. Ignatius Episcopal Church, 500 East Depot Street, Antioch, with Fr. Tim Squier officiating. Visitation will be from 9:00 AM until the time of services. Private interment will be in Hillside Cemetery, Antioch. Friends desiring may make contributions, in her memory, to St. Ignatius Church.

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My Aunt Bev was the meanest, most stubborn, spit-fire I've ever known. She loved me so much and would always call me "brat" and I LOVED it! She tormented the hell out of me and I did everything in my power to torment her right back. =) She was the best! She loved to work out in the yard and was an avid gardener and flower person. She mowed the grass, washed the windows, did dishes by hand, walked EVERYWHERE - never drove. Ever! She took me to the movies, bought me ice cream, sewed like a mad woman, needlepoint, quilted, and even taught me how to do that plastic sqare and yarn thingy. She nannied for a family in Florida for many, many years and then moved back to Antioch where she stayed until her anurism (sp?) took her to a nursing home in Round Lake. She was fiesty, she played favorites and she loved all 9 of us with every fiber of her being as if we were her own kids. Once the grandkids showed up she loved them just as hard if not more than us. They softened her a bit more I think. My Aunt Bev and I butted heads a lot and she and I fought a whole bunch, but I loved her. A lot. And I know that she loved me too. That's something I never doubted. She just had a quirky way of showing it. =) She'd been suffering and trapped in a near-useless body for the past ten years or so since her anurism - so it's good that she's gone now. Now she's up in Heaven with her mom and dad, and with my dad (her brother) too! Lucky! Word on the street is that she and my dad would fight terribly - I think maybe that's why we fought so much - I have his name, and aparently look similarly to him (but if you ask me, I'm my mom's clone). Ah well. You'll be missed Aunt Bev, but I'm so happy that you're finally free to do those things you've loved and haven't been able to do for so long. I hope they even have driver's ed up there so you can finally learn how to drive. =) I love you! Always have. Always will.

the tale of the 400 pound fatty

Once upon a time
there was a fat guy named Jere
who tipped the scales at 407 pounds.
Here's a picture of him now. . .

Here's a profile picture of him so you can see just how wide his big tummy was. . .

Then, one day he had gastric bypass surgery.
Here we are seven months later, now 137 pounds lighter. . .

And now his profile is much more pleasing to look at.
He almost looks "normal" now. . .
The End

the results are IN

Well friends, I FINALLY got my Midterm results back. Mind you, they were back on October 12th, but nonetheless I pretty much killed them. . .

Shakespeare B+
Computers A

HOLLER!!

In other news, today is my cute mom "Peggers'" birthday. We love "Peg Tiddly Peg Peg" and we're sure happy that she's "Gramma Peg" and the funnest ever!! If it weren't for her, I wouldn't be here, nor my two rediculously adorable children either. So, thanks Grandma and Grandpa Garvin! You guys rock!! =)

Right now I'm just chillin' in the computers lab at ASU until my class starts at 3:05pm. I wish I had something pressing to get done, but alas, I don't have anything due right now. I don't have my Tue/Thu notebook with me or else I'd make my rehearsal schedule for my directing scene.

I just want to give a shout out to my awesome directing teacher who wouldn't read this in a million years. He seriously is the COOLEST guy on the planet. He's super hard to read, but I asked him if he'd be willing to be my mentor while I'm going through the program here and he graciously agreed. For my super lame orientation class I've been assigned to another staff member who I'm not too thrilled about (because she hates me), but there's not much I can do about that situation. I just need to meet with her I think twice in order to satisfy the requirement of that assignement and I'm all good. I'll be able to meet with and work closely with Bill for many years to come.

I'm trying to break out and get some directing gigs, but I'm not totally sure how to kick down that door yet. I'm hoping that the more student work I do and the more I can build my portfolio will eventually get me "in" somewhere. It's hard for a theatre to take a chance on an "unknown" director, but then again they do it all the time with unknown actors right? I guess there's a lot more riding on a director than there is an actor, but c'mon peeps - I'm freakin' dedicated!

I talked to Dave about ADing Christmas Carol, but I've not heard back from him so I'm assuming that's a "no." =) Guess I can't blame him. I just figured that if I could learn from the guy who owns the joint, I'd be trained in "his way" and then he'd be able to see my work and feel more comfortable allowing me to work there as a director. Ah well.

Can I mention here - on a totally random note (shocker right) that I just LOVE LOVE LOVE Sacks!? "What the hell is Sacks Jere!?" Let me tell you. It's a DELICIOUS sandwhich shop here on campus that has the YUMMIEST sandwiches you'll ever taste. Ever! My "regular" order is a half turkey on white with mayo, lettuce, tomato and bacon. Perfection friends. Sheer joy and happiness between two slices of bread. *sigh* If you've never been, get in your car as soon as you finish reading this post and head down to Mill & University (behind the Chilis) and get yourself a Sacks experience! You can send your thank you notes later. =)

I'm really liking ASU. A LOT. I went through a brief misery phase about two or three weeks ago and was in a funk for a while, but I'm over it (thank you) and back on top. I even hated one of my instructors for no good reason. Whew, I'm so glad I'm over that because she's totally bomb. A lot of my courses are participation/performance based courses so there isn't a lot of busy work to do outside of class which is great, but also nerve wracking because it's hard to know how you're doing in that situation. This reminds me that I need to email one of my teachers regarding an extra credit project I'd like to sign up for. I love that teachers offer extra credit. It's like a little piece of yummy chocolate cake to me. Ah, love!

I have to say that some of the artwork (and I use that word VERY loosely) here in the computer lab is quite out of date. Like, 1981 called and they want their cheesey laser copies back. Ew! Oh, that reminds me - my job at LQ is rockin'! Tonight's my first big night all by myself to Marshall some games. I'm totally twisted up in the game and I'm sure I'll fall flat on my face a few times, but I'm going to stress out too much about it because it won't do any good anyway right? Oh who am I kidding!? Of course I'm stressing out over it because that's what I do! I live in a constant state of panic and fear. HELP!! Here's how the schpeal should go (and this is all from memory - I'm not even copying this down or anything). . .

Welcome to [name of place] where the mission is fun and exciting! My code name is [insert name here], and I'll be your Marshall for this mission. Your mission is a solo game where the object is to score as many points as possible. You earn points for every tag that you make, but you lose points for every time you're tagged. You can tag and be tagged an unlimited number of times, so play smart! **Wait, am I breeching some sort of confidentiality clause by saying this? Just in case, I'm going to stop right there 'cause I can't afford to be sued or lose my sweet new job.**

Just so everyone knows, I'm completely rockin' out to Shoshana Bean right now while writing this post. I LOVE her CD! If you don't have it and want a great album full of killer vocals and good songs with story lines and catchy lyrics, get your hands on Superhero. Again, you can thank me for it later.

Is anyone else ready for Christmas!? I'm OBSESSED with it and I can't wait for November 1st to get here. See, in JereWorld Christmas starts November 1st and runs through January 1st. I bust out the music, I dust off the DVDs (two words: White Christmas), and I am FULL of the spirit of the holidays. I'm all about peace on earth and good will toward men. Bring on the mall Santas and candy canes, the decorations and the lights! I want hot cocoa, fire logs, scarfs and fuzzy crocs baby!! LOVE LOVE LOVE IT!!!

My time is drawing to a close here before my class, but before I go I MUST mention my peeps in the 'hood! Is there a 12-Step program for loving your neighbors too much? I'm pretty sure I need to start attending meetings or something. Holler to my girls Brenda and Kat!! Rockin' at the Ruckers eatin' some frozen jello, chat 'n chewin' at Brenda's throwin' back a few Diet Cokes, midnight runs to In-N-Out with Chris, talkin' shop with Craig, and just being with my peeps makes me SO HAPPY!!!! I love 85201!!!! Julianna wasn't kidding. This is the place to be! I feel like this is the village in Brigadoon that is taken to heaven and then brought back - it's THAT good here! My kids have new friends and my cute wifey takes them out for a stroll every morning/evening and they pick flowers, chat with neighbors, and feel better about life just being over here. I am so happy here and my heart aches with the idea of leaving in a year and a half! I really feel like I'm "home" for the first time in about 17 years. Not kidding!

As you all know, Halloween is tomorrow and my Maggie is going as "Cinderella" and Max is going as a "Cowboy" and even has the whole horsey on a stick thing and schweet blue hat to boot! It's going to be awesome! I don't have a show tomorrow, nor do I have to work so I've the whole day to play with and be with my kids!!!!! SO HAPPY!!!!!! Speaking of, if you've not come to my show you've only got THREE more performances to see it: Nov. 7, 14, 21 and that's it! So, get online and get tickets: www.haletheatrearizona.com.

Tricks & Treats,
JerBear

the results are in

This morning I FINALLY got the results of my Close Analysis and, as promised, here is what he said about it:

Jere,

You have some good ideas here that highlight how the word choice of Shakespeare evokes a kind of disconnect with male characters reactions to Lavinia’s rape. This was good, but after that point it seems you moved more into a running commentary that didn’t fully incorporate the text. What detracted from the strength of your paper was this tendency toward generalization, and lack of connecting defined thesis with specific points in the passage grounding your reading. More specific language and development would help anchor what I perceive as a move toward thoughtful analysis. Please see me if you have questions or concerns.

Mike

Grade: C

I'm completely stunned that I didn't get an F. You might be thinking that I'm being rediculous for thinking that, but if you go back a few posts and read the assignment you'll see that it was indeed very difficult. I wish I could post my paper on here with his corrections and comments to me. I don't know how to do that so I just posted his wrap-up comments to me at the bottom of my paper.

All in all, I'm THRILLED to have a C! As I've said before, "C's get degrees," and I'm okay with that! What I can post here is my actual paper for you to read for yourself if you want to, but I'm sure you'll be bored to tears with it as it is an analysis of one specific passage from Titus Andronicus - and if you're not familliar with the play (or the passage rather), then you may just be more confused.

I still feel strongly that you all should read Titus if you've not yet done so, or at least WATCH the movie version, Titus starring Sir Anthony Hopkins in the title role and Academy Award Winner Jessica Lang as Tamora, Queen of the Goths. It's really, really good!

Alrighty, I'm off to ASU for my Shakespeare Section with Mike (one of my favorite classes) and then my Orientation to Theatre and Film class. Hooray for me. =)

IN OTHER NEWS, I FINALLY GOT MYSELF A JOB!!!!!

adventures in babysitting

Here we are at Perter 'n Lenna's house while they're in Texas for her 10 year high school reunion. They took Crewbers with them but left Tates and Daneybop home. So, we're here being the awesome aunt & uncle and house slash baby sitting until they get back tomorrow night. So far it's been good. Allyson had to stay here alone on Thursday night because I being the tard that I am left my keys in her van after Jordan & Kaitlynn's wedding dinner. Who's the smartest!? Oh yeah, that'd be me!

I turned in my AMAZING (and I mean FREAKING AWESOME) audition information packet to ASU so that I can be accepted into the school of theatre starting this spring. It was a portfolio where I had to submit a three page essay as to why the theatre arts are important and how being part of their program is going to help me reach my personal goals. I had to submit a critical analysis of a play and I did mine on Mesa Encore's Leading Ladies (SO GOOD!) and then I threw in my headshot, resume, and some pics of me and my family and me in some shows for added awesomeness. I also included a newspaper article all about me when I was in The Nerd at Hale where the headline read, "Drama Teacher Okay With Being Called A Nerd." It was a great article because at the time I was a drama teacher and it was an interview with me and blah blah blah. I hope that helps me get in. Who knows. IF I'm accepted I'll then have to go through an audition process where I'll be required to perform two contrasting monologues. I believe one has to be contemporary and one classical. I really want to do a dramatic piece from Doubt as my contemporary and then something light and fun from Shakespeare. I'll let you know when I find anything out.

In other news I've really been missing some of my peeps. I don't see or talk to them nearly enough and it makes me sad. I'm a full time student and I've got two kids and the time I'm not doing that I'm busy looking for a job, performing in a show, or spending some awesome time with my family. PS - I have the best wife on the planet. I'm just going to say it out loud and publicly. I seriously scored when I landed her! Here are some of the highlights of why I love my lady:

1. Her voice - seriously, have you heard her sing!?

2. She's hot - I'm just sayin'

3. She's an AMAZING mother

4. Her incredible sense of style - she always looks good - always, I don't get it

5. Her patience with me is the closest thing to godliness I've ever seen

6. She loves ME - why, I'll never quite know, but I'm sure lucky she does

7. She keeps me grounded - literally =)

8. Her financial wisdom has kept us afloat in dire times

9. She always has a camera on stand-by and isn't afraid to use it

10. She let's me do shows and puts up with being a single mom for months at a time

11. She has an incredible love for her family

12. And my family - see godliness in number 5 above

13. She's a fantastic sister always willing to help her siblings out

14. She loves the gospel and lives it every day

15. She teaches voice AND piano - see godliness in number 12 above

16. She makes me laugh - a lot (and y'all thought I was funny. . . )

17. She has the most beautiful eyes in the world

18. We're a perfect lop pair - she lops left, I lop right

19. She loves her friends and is incredibly loyal to them

20. She keeps in contact with friends much better than I do

21. She always calls you back

22. She's not afraid to tell me when I suck at something

23. She is maddeningly stubborn at times

24. She's a GREAT kisser - and taught me everything I know

25. She loves to work out and go to the gym - AT O'DARK THIRTY IN THE MORNING

26. She competed in a Triathlon and kicked ass - even with the bike mishap

27. She let me get a dog - she HATES animals

28. She let me keep the dog - after it ate her favorite outfit of Maggie's

29. She loves her kids so much and would do anything for them

30. She's anal retentive when it comes to a clean house

31. She does my laundry for me and irons for me - see godliness in number 15 above

32. She wants nothing - ever - for any reason at all - ever

33. She buys me treats

34. She's not afraid of anything

35. She has this crazy ability to "do" Maggie's hair and make it cute - everyday

36. She watches up to 8 kids at a time and doesn't lose her mind - godliness in number 31 above

37. She sings with and to our kids

38. She's a great friend

39. She always has my back

40. She knows big words and what they mean

41. She loves to read

42. She's the proud driver of a sweet minivan with a personalized plate she didn't want

43. She thinks I'm funny

44. She loves me in spite of my flaws

45. She challenges me to be my best - always

46. She knows how to push my buttons

47. She's usually always right - even when it makes me crazy mad

48. She has cute quirks about her that make me smile all the time

49. She keeps me medicated - see godliness in number 36 above

50. She's okay with being told, "Oh, you're Jere's wife!"

51. She apologizes for me a lot - see godliness in number 49 above.

52. She's a GREAT cook

53. And she bakes

54. And she buys me Diet Dr. Peppers

55. And she still married me even though I sleep with a stuffed animal every night

56. And she let me keep him

57. And she makes fun of me for still sleeping with him every night

58. And she knows how important to me he is

59. She's SUPER HOT!!!! Like, smokin' hot!!!!

60. She's a better person than me

61. She inspires me to be better tomorrow than I am today

62. She has a lot of faith

63. She knows what's right

64. She's forgiving

65. She's kind to everyone

66. She doesn't blow smoke - she just tells it like it is - even when it's hard to tell

67. She sees through me and knows when I'm upset/hurt/sad/hiding/et. al.

68. She knows how to make me happy

69. She'd kill me for writing what I want to write here so I won't

70. She's a faithful blogger and blogstalker - she keeps up to date on all y'all!

Wait, these are just supposed to be a few highlights as to what makes my wife so amazing. If I list everything here it will give away all of the secrets to my success. So I'm going to stop there, and believe me, I could go on and on about her. She's seriously the greatest woman on the planet. I know that in my bios and such I say, "Jere's married to the most amazing woman on the planet - but he just calls her Allyson. . ." but it's absolutely true! I wouldn't be half the person I am today if it wasn't for her. She keeps me in line and on track in all aspects of life. I am so blessed to have her in my life and to have her as my eternal companion!!

On that note, I'm going to sign off so she can blog and read blogs and facebook posts and whatever else it is that she does on this thing for hours at a time. If you've got someone special in your life I hope you let them know how much you worship them. Even if you tell them all the time, sometimes it's cool to put it out there for the world to see - as a reminder for when you may be angry or upset with them later. =)

Still no word about my Titus Andronicus paper - I'll let you know when I know something.

close read update

STILL NO WORD!!!

Hopefully I'll get my feedback on Friday???

the close read

I had an assignment due today for my Shakespeare class that pretty much made me feel like a big, dumb, idiot. It's called a "Close Reading Assignment" and I don't know if you've ever had to do one of these or not, but it's not as easy as I was thinking it was going to be. Wow! Now, if you know me at all you know that I LOVE Shakespeare anything. I worship him, and think he's brilliant. He's one of the people on my list for, "If there's anyone you could go back in time and have lunch with, who would it be?" along with Jesus and my dad. I got the awesome experience of reading Titus Andronicus which I had never read, nor seen and I absolutely freaking loved every minute of it! It was really, really, really cool! It's a total revenge play and an early tragedy of his. If you're looking for a great story, check this one out. If you want to see an incredible film adaptation of this play then get out and rent Titus starring Anthony Hopkins, Jessica Lange and Alan Cummings. Ah-mazing! I'm just sayin'.

We just finished the play and had to do what's called a "Close Reading of Titus Andronicus" in which we had to choose one of four assigned passages from the play and then write a 2 - 3 page essay in which we argue for the significance of the passage for interpreting the play and support that arguement with evidence from our analysis of the specific language, literary devices and/or effects on the audience of the passage we have chosen. We had to include the main themes of the passage, talk about any imagery, the language, metaphors or comparisons, sounds and rhymes, and LOTS of other things. WOW! I've not written anything like this in, . . . forever, so I have NO IDEA what the heck I'm supposed to do. I can talk to you about all the characters, the plot, the overall feel that I get from the play, what I think it's about and so forth. When topics have come up in class discussions I can talk about them such as the theme of violence, gender, nature and so forth. I feel like I'm totally "getting it" and doing really well in the class - and then we get this assignment which is worth 10% of our overall grade!

I'm at a complete loss for words, how to organize my thoughts, how to create a thesis statement and then argue for it, and I have no idea how to do what's being asked of me. So, I had a good cry over it and then thought, "Okay, you know how to disect passages, you learned that in Conservatory. You can totally do this." So I did. I found all sorts of really great meaty material in the passage and was feeling really great about my progress. I followed the advice of my instructors and started early and let things stew inside my brain before sitting down to write my paper as they said this was the most important part of the paper. I then took it a step farther and took in my work to my T.A. Mike (who, again, if you don't remember is totally awesome) and had a chat with him about things and asked if I was on the right track. He said he liked where I was going with things and then brought up all kinds of things that I hadn't thought of (which was AWESOME!) and made me rethink the whole direction I was going. I re-read my passage a zillion times and looked back at "the world of the play" as an actor would and then started to look at the characters like an actor does to find out where these people come from, why they're here, what's going on, why, what's their motivation for making their choices and so forth. I got all sorts of excited thinking, "Yes! This is it! I've got it!"

Hooray for me, I've got this in the bag and I know exactly what I'm going to do so I sit down and get started and then I start to panic. I grab the worksheets I've been given in class to make sure I'm following the rubric and making sure I've got answers to all the questions that have been posed to me and such. I figured I'd better wait to get to class just in case they say anything else. Good move! They totally did! Hooray beer! So I map out my week and schedule a three hour chunk of time last night to work on things and another two or so hours this morning to wrap it all up and double check things.

I got about half way through last night and realized that I don't have a damn clue what the hell I'm doing! I'm frustrated, more confused than ever, and now I'm pissed because it's the night before it's due and there's nobody I can talk to anymore. So, I stop what I'm doing, go back and read over it and I think that it totally sucks rocks and stop. I grab the remote and decide to watch some ANTM instead to get my mind off Shakespeare.

This morning I got up and went out to my paper to pick up where I left off. I read over what I had and realized that it still sucked and then pulled out my syllabus. I see that this paper is worth 10% of my grade and realize that if I get absolutely no points at all I can still get through the class with a B. I also see that I don't have to do another one of these papers so that's a total relief too. I take a deep breath and finish the paper, upload it and submit it with two hours to spare! I flipped on Project Runway and then hopped in the shower and came in to school.

I have no idea what kind of grade I'm going to get on the paper, but I feel really badly for Mike because he's going to have to suffer through reading it (and yes, it really is THAT bad). I'll let you know how it turns out and what kind of grade I get on it. For now, I'm just glad it's over and now I can focus on the joy of Shakespeare's Hamlet which we start this weekend. WOOT!!

Moral of the story: If you love Shakespeare you should take ENG321 at ASU but let me warn you now that you'll have to start with a "Close Reading Assignment" so be prepared. =)